I am creating this post as a form of therapy for myself, so I thank you for taking the time to read it.
I thank Sol Ballard http://solballard.com/2015/01/last-year-twenties-bash-invited/ for her courage, which in turn allowed me to open my door just a little bit wider. Please take the time to read her post as well.
About 6 years ago, my life was at a crossroads. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, and a nice drink, or two or three, was just the ticket to drown out and dull my senses enough to try not pay attention.(It really didn’t work).
Long story short, my husband and I got into a huge unnecessary argument that left me feeling out of control and lower than I had ever felt before in my life.
I decided to call a friend of mine, who at the time, was studying and deep into the religion of her choice at that time, and I decided it was time to join her.
When I look back, it turns out that it was not the religion itself, the church or the people specifically that I needed, but rather, someone or something to tell me what to do, repetition, knowing exactly what was going to happen from week to week and day to day. In essence, knowing the rules and the consequences of not playing by those rules.
I found comfort in this because I felt like I didn’t have control of the outcomes in my life at the time.
As weeks turned into years, I began to “wake up” to myself. Of course there are many stories and particulars to this “waking up,” but mainly, I could hear my own questions and I could hear my own “Inner-Knowing”. The questions that laid dormant inside of me could no longer be contained.
I had come to a point where I needed to feel again. I needed to feel who I was. What was I thinking? What were my questions, and even more importantly, where would those questions lead me?
This was the scariest part ever! Where would my questions lead me?
The answer to some of my questions lead me right out of the church, but as I continued to ask questions, seek answers and decide that I would allow myself to be on the journey, I could feel myself “aligning” more and more WITH MYSELF.
This is my greatest purpose and reason for becoming a Life Coach…To create and allow a safe space for people to hear and align with themselves when ready to do so. There is no greater purpose on the earth than to know yourself.
This alignment yielded other questions like: What will my friends think? Will people think I’m crazy? Will I be alone?
As I continue on this journey six years later, I realize that the same questions can continue to circle back over and over, as you continue to align, see even more, perceive differently, etc.
There have been many fears that I have had to face, but as I think about, weigh and assess each and every one, the greatest fear that I feel I have ever had to face, is knowing the answer that I hear on the inside and not aligning with my own answer…My Inner-Knowing.
Each time that I hear, see, know and do, I am released from the grip of fear that once bound me.
Standing still when we are to contribute. Keeping our mouths shut when we are to speak. Shrinking when we are to grow, over any other fears, are the greatest.
I know I am not alone, as I was taught a long time ago that we are one. And what one is feeling, so do others.
As I continue on this path of releasing myself into a state of BE-ing, I invite you to come with me.
Thanks for stopping by!
Lisa Scott, B.MSC.